Scorching Creative Energy
Author: Marsha Maung
For the longest time, I toiled day in and day out, pursuing the interest of others. As a business woman and as a freelance writer, there’s literally no other option. It’s either that or eat sand. I chose the former. I don’t like sand very much.
I tweeted this yesterday, I think (follow me on twitter if you want – www.twitter.com/marshamaung), and then it slammed into me. I tweeted: I need to write more for myself. In my organizer, the list of things to do for MYSELF is backlogged as far back as two weeks ago!
There are stuff that I should have done for myself that I should have done two whole weeks ago! Compare the list to the one I have for my clients – to the dot! Well, ALMOST to the dot. I had a bad Wednesday, ok?
I think it will do me good if I could just imagine myself as a client for once. If my clients were important to me, I should be just as important if not more important. Without me as a writer, there would be no….money. In this equation, the most important thing to my business right now is….yes, my computer, but more importantly, it’s me.
Hence, a more significant importance should be placed on writing for myself….the stuff that I want to write.
I would love to lie and say that writing’s been an incredibly rewarding job but I hate liars. Sometimes it sucked….really bad. But if you want to be professional about a writing career, you’ve got to suck it in and keep at it, right? That’s what a good business person will do….take it in their stride and keep at it.
There is down time because writing takes creativity and creativity comes and goes. There are moments that I will find myself writing like the demon was hot on my trail. I would be awake at three in the morning typing my hands numb and then there are other times that I would love nothing more than just to sit back and read a book….with a glass of wine, preferably.
I’ve realized that I have sidestepped what’s important to me….the fire in me that kept me a writer instead of packing burgers….the burning, scorching, insane creative energy that keeps me awake when I should be asleep. While sleep is important, the fire’s been snuffed out.
I end up hating being a writer and loathe the fact that I have to sit here and write up tons of stuff that sometimes mean nothing to me. I hate it when it gets like that and something’s got to be done.
And in that instant, something struck me….I’ve lost me because in my list of priorities, I’ve become only slightly more important than an ironed underwear….and I don’t iron my underwear! PURLEEZZEEE!
If you value your work and life as a writer, here’s my advice to you…learn to treat yourself as priority. You can do what I do….treat yourself as a client.
I don’t know how well that will go yet but I will give it everything I have to finally find that scorching desire to come up with a good piece again…one day.
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