Says who writers have the safest and healthiest jobs in the world?
“You sit there and just type and type and type. What job hazard have you got?” came the taunt. Jumping out my seat, out rolled the following job hazards of a writer who sits there typing and writing stuff for other people.
1. Writer’s Finger aches – You don’t think it hurts to type all day long? You don’t….try it. I mean, I know software programmers get the same problem, so do secretaries and legal clerks. Freelance writers get this problem too, you know. And yes, it IS a job hazard because it bloody hurts!
2. Writer’s Wrist-ache – Tennis players get tennis elbows. Writers get writers’ wrist? Well, I am not kidding here, ok? Because at one point in time, I developed a serious case of a condition very common among writers like me, the Carpal Tunnel Syndrome which affects the wrists of the writer. Don’t believe me? I don’t blame you. Wanna know more? Check out Wikipedia.org’s elaboration of Writer’s Wrist….otherwise medically known as Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
3. Writer’s Butt ache – Sometimes when I am writing and there’s this train of thought flowing through my brain and I cannot stop writing even when nature’s calling because if I stop writing, I’ll forget my point. So, I sit there and will nature to wait. The wait can be anything between 5 minutes to 5 hours. This waiting also flattens the writer’s butt out and it causes a serious case of butt ache. Unfortunately, unlike the Wrist problem of a writer, I don’t have any documents and findings on butt ache except for diarrhea.
4. Writer’s Eye Ache – This goes without saying. We spend the whole day staring into the computer monitor that a writer’s cornea takes quite a beating as well. We develop dry eyes, lazy eyes, cock-eyes, wet eyes, red eyes, etc.
5. Writer’s No Friends Syndrome – Writers tend to sit there until they finish something, so, the writer have this insane capability of cancelling all appointments in their calendar until the writing project ends. I know, insane, but we’re writers….we’re supposed to be insane.
6. Writer’s Hunger Strike Syndrome – Sometimes when writers have projects to finish, they tend to forget that they’re hungry.
7. Writer’s Block – Try writing in and out every single day on topics ranging from DVD copying to Kayaking and you’ll see for yourself that Writer’s Block is not only common but life-threatening.
8. Writer’s Inability to Use a Pen Syndrome – Depending on the experience of the writer. The more experience the writer has, the more inefficient the writer is with a pen and paper.
9. Writer’s Speech Problems – Some writers have learned how to express themselves through what they write that they forget how to talk to normal human beings without typing it out first and then reading it aloud.
10. Writer’s Inability to play musical instruments – Because writers spend an insane number of hours using their fingers, they might find problems playing musical instruments that requires straining of the fingers or touching of the fingertips, like the piano ESPECIALLY the guitar.
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